Revisiting West Virginia

I spent my formative years in remote central West Virginia. The 10 year-old me could not translate remote and rural to the state’s marketing tagline of Wild and Wonderful. Instead, insulated from society, the outside world and anybody I thought was “like me”, I convinced myself that West Virginia was the most backward, conservative, bigoted and homophobic place on the planet. I resolved to leave West Virginia the moment I could, promising myself never to look back.

You will learn, as you get to know me, when I set my mind to something I do my best to make it happen – but I will continue to learn, grow and evolve.

After college, I did indeed get out, and took at job with an airline that allowed me to see the world. I was able to explore all the major cities in the United States, small towns that could barely support airline service, and a few foreign countries along the way. Occasionally, I’d return to visit my family, all the while concealing a secret and inadvertently blocking out the joys life had to offer.

I convinced myself that I could never tell anybody in my hometown that I was gay. First of all, the only other gay people I even knew about were “the eclectic” professors at the local college – and often the words used to describe them were not kind. Attending the same local elementary school for seven years, then the combined middle / high school for five more years, the term “minority” was one used in theory only. Everybody was white. Everybody was lower middle-class. Everybody practiced some form of Christianity. Everybody identified as straight. Or at least that is how I perceived it.

Fast-forward, finding a like-minded and accepting community at the airline, I began to accept myself for who I was. I came out to my co-workers and friends, and eventually started coming out to friends and family back home in West Virginia. Like most coming out stories, there is the good and the bad. But for me, it was overwhelmingly good. Living hours away from home, I could manage reactions through social media. What I discovered was a supportive community that had always been there.

Years later, over lunch a friend told me “We are always telling ourselves a story.   We are also telling ourselves somebody else’s story without allowing them to tell their own story.”  This hit home, as I’m absolutely one to over-analyze what others are thinking.  As I began to open up, be my true self, and allow others to show me their true selves – I found that many of the same people I grew up loving and adoring – really loved and adored me back – the real and whole me.  Was it all great?  No, I had some family that cut off all ties, and refused to have anything to do with me.  But that's okay too – they reinforced the story I told myself.  Ironically, many of them have reconnected in later years to make amends or attempt to grow themselves.  It is my responsibility then, to allow this – and to grant the grace needed to accept their amends.  It’s not always easy – but we all need grace in our lives.

So . . . what has brought on this rambling reminiscing?  Over the 2024 Martin Luther King weekend, my partner and I traveled back to West Virginia for what is becoming a regular ski trip.  We linked up with my brother and his wife and shared the long weekend in a secluded cabin next to a mountain stream that was raging due to the recent rain and snow fall.

While our intent was to reconnect and ski, we allowed ourselves to be present and explore along the way.  Reconnecting was natural – even an adventure when the power went out and we had to improvise ways to provide heat, flush the toilet and make sure everybody was fed.

During our exploration, we meandered through Thomas and Davis – both small towns clinging to the side of a mountain in West Virginia.  Both towns provide a level of charm and welcoming atmosphere.  The shops and restaurants could literally be the set of a Hallmark Christmas movie – and there, no fake snow would be needed as it seems to always be naturally present!

The first thing that caught my eye as we parked and walked down the street was the number of pride flags outside of local shops.  Growing up, this would have blown my mind, and it did a little bit this time around. I was immediately taken back to being a 10 year-old closeted gay kid – thinking I might actually be the only gay kid in WV.  This small symbol of support and acceptance started reframing my perspective and view on my home state.  It this an area heavily supported by tourists? Yes!  Is everybody in the community a proud PFLAG supporter – no.  But being acknowledged – knowing I was safe, and knowing I was at least marginally accepted flooded my emotions.

So fellow Villagers, if you’re ready to brave the cold – don a ski mask and challenge yourself to some of the best skiing on the east coast – check out the Canaan Valley of West Virginia.  Timberline Mountain (www.timberlinemountain.com) is experiencing a renaissance with its new ownership team.  Next door, Canaan Valley State Park (www.canaanresort.com) is a well-maintained four season state park.  We’ve stayed at the Canaan Lodge before and it is very comfortable.  About an hour away is Snowshoe Mountain (www.snowshoemtn.com) and probably the closest thing you will find to Breckinridge / Aspen on the East Coast.

Have you skied the West Virginia mountains? 

What was your experience?  Have you explored Thomas/Davis and found joy there?  Share your experience in the comment section below.